Music Makes Me Lose Control ♥

Sunday, March 30, 2008,8:54 PM

I've wasted the whole weekend not doing any work and math test is 2 weeks away!!! D: The horror. I've never known a phenomenon more frightening than the reciprocal of a function. In graph form. EEEKS.

I'm predicting an econs test this week, 2 lit tests for this and next week, and a history test the week after math test. Holy cow and I've got Project work PI :O Oh no! :( Shitshitshit. Cannot procrastinate anymore. Byebye.

Thursday, March 27, 2008,10:21 PM

AHHH.

How do I love OAC? Let me count the ways: ∞

This is the first time anybody threw a surpirse birthday celebration for me...*sob*sob* Ahhh...what to say... Actually I had some suspicion that something was going on behind my back because Jia Jun was acting all secretive in a very obvious manner... and then suddenly everybody had to go to the toilet... Then of course there was Raphael's slip up :D But I'm so happy. Oh my god. My heart is bursting with love. Really. <<33>

Hmm. Must say thank you. Yup. Comanches. You guys are so sweeeeet :-^ You have no idea how much this means to me. What forces of fate could bring all of you into my life to give me so much joy? I want to say "Thank you" but somehow those 2 words don't seem big enough to contain all the love I feel for you guys. I shall invent a word. COSPLATCWIDOQAMICUS. I COSPLATCWIDOQAMICUS COMANCHES.

Seniors and Nava: Thank you for being there and celebrating my birthday with me. My first surpirse birthday was celebrated by OAC and will be forever etched in my mind because all of you were a part of it :D And Raphael will always be fondly remembered :)
I COSPLATCWIDOQAMICUS ALL OF YOU TOO.

I WILL CLIMB UP KNIFE MOUNTAINS AND SWIM THROUGH FIRE SEAS TO BE WITH ALL OF YOU.

^^^This is not a joke. I've never felt this way before. Is it possible to fall in love with a group of people?

So after eating and the surprise party and random attempts to fish reflections about YLTC from us, we just sat there and talked and laughed. It seems that when OAC is together there's always something funny being said or happening and everyone's laughing at everyone. It's so joyous and innocent. Suddenly there's no more stress from impossible math tutorials or upcoming econs tests. It's the now, the people that matter. When we're together we're strong :)

Oh I got a nice little pooh bear :) I never slept with stuffed toys even when I was a kid but I'm never letting this one go. What shall I call it? I don't wanna call him Pooh. So boring. His dignity requires that he have a name that does not sound like some kind of excrement. Help me name him ok? ;)

This is one of my favourite quotes: "If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants" - Newton. I don't know about seeing furthur. But if I've grown, if I've become stronger, if I've learnt to love, it's because I've found in OAC my heroes, my pillars of strength, my GIANTS.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008,10:47 PM

i like not reminding people about my birthday cos it's interesting to see who remembers :) aiyo.so cynical.but you know when you tell people it's your birthday you get the mandatory "happy birthday" greeting that you can only reply with thanks so many times before the whole rigmarole gets pointless and boring.i like knowing that someone is wishing me happy birthday because they remembered and truly mean it :)

i shall type out my birthday thank yous now (5pm) so i can log on and post it at midnight without having to sit bleary eyed in front of the comp, trying to remember what happened to me in the last 24 hours :)

Comanches: They kept me up till midnight on msn just to say happy birthday to me!!! :D So sweet right? :) And to think I wanted to log off at 11.55pm. HAHA. Then they just kept saying WAIT WAIT and repeating that YL post mortem was on Tuesday. I love you guys so much. Thanks for sticking with me through precamps and YLTC. I'm so happy and blessed that it was all of you who were the first to wish me happy birthday. I feel obliged to type out all your names. THANK YOU HOJJ KANZY YIER PEIYIT CHENGKIAT AND WEIRD PINK FONT :)

Sicheng: Thank you for going out of your way to give me a present and hand made card. I probably don't show as much appreciation towards you as I should but you still unfailingly remember everything I need and like. Thank you.

Huiying: As if she's going to read this...but anyway, it's always heart warming to receive a greeting from an old friend. What's that chinese saying... old wines are better, old gingers are spicier :)

Vera: Trust Vera to remind me of intoxicating substances on my birthday :P Thanks for remembering. You can be my first drinking buddy this time next year :)

Mummy and Daddy and Sis: Well, dad and sis forgot at first but anyway... Yay.I love all of you :)

Yingx: Long distance phone calls are always special but long distance phone calls on your birthday are special-er! :D See you in june!

Eileen: Another old friend and fellow star wars fan :) Thank you for giving me fantastic presents year after year. I owe you BIG time.

Machi: Heyo machi! How are you doing in Bishan? Technically we should be mortal enemies. We should meet up soon :)

Jac: You wacky jacky. I still can't believe we're friends :P You'll always be my crazy lit buddy :)

these are starting to sound like dedications more than thanks...but hey it's not too bad a number is it? :)

10.47pm.it's late enough.this has been on heck of an uneventful birthday but it was good.good food, no school and not too much work done.yup.it's been a good day.

Saturday, March 22, 2008,3:15 PM

wow.so many tags from nice nice people :D

instructor sufen: hello.thanks for all the information on 33rd's scandals and being a catalyst in comanches' own scandal :) but i still don't understand what abstract rectangle and triangle!!

instructor weilin: Hello! :D thanks for making yltc such a memorable experience for us! look forward to yl night!

steffi: hello! er...you know prongs from harry potter? yeah i know the s doesn't really fit but it's a cool nickname anyway :D hey i wanna have meet ex session with your dad! i cant believe he was from comanches! so cool! :D

jiamin: hello old friend :) don't worry about random passerby.she/he/it is now lost in the tangled web of cyberspace :)

calean: hello! i found your blog too :D

zhenrui: hello! jiayou for yl night!

yingx: i feel happy for you too! for your...you know :)

and now, one whole paragraph dedicated to jiajun because he was so unbelievably sweet and handmade personalised bookmarks for everyone in comanches.THANK YOU JIA JUN :D behind that goofy smile and vacant stare is the lovable, sentimental jia jun that has finally shown itself to the world :)

Thursday, March 20, 2008,7:30 PM

the last time i had the same thought running through my mind for more than 100 hours at one shot was...never.

AHHH.I CAN'T GET OAC OUT OF MY HEAD.

i keep thinking about camp and what we can do for yl night and all the batchmates and seniors...today during fac cip at east coast i was looking at the sea and thinking of how we kayaked during yltc...and it seems that there are very few oac peeps in apollo so i was emoing about oac all by myself :( haiz.actually my feelings towards oac now is like a sine curve.just when i reach my highest point thinking about yl night and invites that fear that i won't make it through the interviews brings me right down to the dumps.

okok.let's not go there.

it seems that everyone is putting up the yl group picture on their blog.so i shall too :)

what's more,i shall go one step furthur and post the senior's group picture as well :)

i bet they took this picture before land ex.we look so grimy and tired compared to them.and instructor yufeng looked so cute :) who would've guessed...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008,6:37 PM

ah...it's been awhile since yltc ended.didn't want to blog about it at first because i didnt know what i wanted to say and how i wanted to say it.but after discovering jiajun's herculean effort of typing out his yl post in 2.75 hours,i decided to give it a shot and hopefully i won't take as long :)

erm...overview first.i used to be someone who scorned groupwork of any sort.i've always been on the periphery of any class/cca/whatever group activity and to me it was natural.in fact,i've always had little patience for groups because i felt that in groups,everything moved too slowly and you lose your sense of identity.i just discovered earlier this year (and i swear this is true) that it's not considered natural to eat by yourself every lunch or recess.honest.i never had any idea that people went to eat in groups.i mean,i was aware of people sitting together,i just didn't know it was planned.and last year after english eoys,my teacher and classmates all came to ask me if i did the essay question "In praise of solitude." yup.so i've always been a loner.

but in yltc, i learnt the true meaning of the old cliche "one for all and all for one".i get quite pissed off now when i see that phrase being used frivolously because it's not giving credit and honour to the very real sacrifice that lies behind that catchy one-liner.one for all and all for one.it's more than sharing underwear and socks,it's more than halo dragon pumping and dong nan xi bei,it's more than dorm check and roll call.it's the spirit that no one gets left behind.the simple gesture of removing your hat when one batch mate has lost theirs is more powerful than a perfect roll call.without one, we are none.

i'm not one who believes in crying and always stop myself when tears are on the verge of spilling over.but during the final PT,i cried,and i didnt hold it back because the revelation of having been so selfish and blinkered by my own sense of morality all these years hit me smack in the face and i truly felt ashamed.alone,i would never have made it out of yltc alive.without the mass singing and cheering,my spirit would have faltered.without support from my batchmates during PT,my body would have given way.all that i had done for the past 5 days was only possible because i had had help,i had had support,i had done it together with everyone else.

yup.that's my big revelation for yltc.i've always believed that i could sail through life doing things by myself in my own solitary,carefree way.i've always thought that i could push myself on with my own inner strength.but now,i'm not afraid to admit that i am weak.i am but one.the miracle of completing a task is not in its completion,but in the fact that we all did it together.

all of the above would have been terribly cliche and boring to me just 2 months ago but i know better now :) with all the friends i've made and bonds i've forged,the world,literally,seems like a brighter place with the smiles of everyone who has gone through yltc together.

time check: 1 hr.

ok no more emo-philo stuff :D on to my most memorable moments during yltc.er...falling sick on the first day.that was really damn lame.i felt so stupid.really.i think it was the excitement,trepidation and lousy sleep the night before.luckily i made it back the next day :)

first aid mob! my first thought was 'what the hell...??!!' to see instructor yufeng and yiling running out crazily without scolding us was quite shocking in itself.not to mention instructor weilin's open fracture that refused to stay on and instructor su fen's parang weilding antics.we probably didn't take it as seriously as we should have but the situation was so funny! luckily we didnt get scolded too badly afterwards :)

sea-ex!i finally experienced the joys of single kayaks.there's alot more maneuverability and it's much lighter than a double kayak.but as instructor su fen said,it's also very boring :( the first day was sea-ex was still ok,but on the second day it had gotten to be just mindless paddling with no one to talk to :( but kayaking is still very fun :)

recreation periods! what a misnomer...my conclusion is that it's called recreation because it's fun only for the seniors.and maybe to appease concerned parents...but these are the truly memorable moments of the whole camp.we sweated together,cried together and suffered unimaginable muscular torture together.but we did it :) WHOA!

sentry duty! comanches '07 is seriously pro.we have 2 PTIs as exes!!! wang4 chen2 mo4 ji2.we were supposed to try and squeeze their group scandal out of them but didn't manage to get too many details...but we got chocolates and strepsils and instructor zhen chao helped a little :)

land ex! yay trekking is fun :) the guys were really gentlemanly and carried all the bags :) erm,we weren't very high during land ex but singing the songs was fun and lunch and ice pops were delicious :D

land ex dinner! the dinner was more memorable than land ex itself :P shared a pavilion with navajos and spent the whole evening passing around mess tins full of msg laden food,niao-ing renice,watching peiyit flick lighted matches in random directions,and laughing at jiajun being unable to light 30+ matches.in the middle of the rain and wind,somewhere in some forgotten corner of ubin,i felt warm and fuzzy inside :)

campfire! thanks to some random turn of events, our campfire item had homoerotic undertones.er.heh.yeah.watching the 32nd batch berate our seniors,i finally understood that everything we went through had been repeated 34 times before and we were all just a small part of one long,proud tradition that we have the responsibility of continuing and improving.

mroc! what can i say...if this wasn't memorable,nothing will be.before,i would have thought 'the guys can't do dragon pumping.big deal.it's got nothing to do with me.' but now i feel the disappointment of my batch.but we all put in effort together and there can't be any more appropriate way to end yltc than with the mingling of sweat and tears.

time check:1hr 45 mins.

post yltc blues! after reaching home i felt so empty and alone.where were 42 other people to sing and cheer and suffer through pt with me?! :( i had a good bath and sleep,but yltc was always on my mind.i think i have a vague recollection of dreaming about getting scolded by instructor yufeng...so scareeee...

now camp's over,it's back to reality.never knew math tutorials and econs lessons could be more dreaded than dorm check :( but we still have yl night! after peiyit sms-ed me about yl night meeting last night i spent the whole day in anticipation of meeting up with WHOA again :D so i'm in the invitations committee with jolene,shi yun,raphael and zheng xian :) let's make this yl night unforgettable :)

time check:1hr 55mins

haha jiajun.i pwn you :D

Going alone may get you there faster,but going together will get you further.

Sunday, March 09, 2008,10:28 PM

so...camp tomorrow.all the way till friday.if i don't drop out.

seniors told us to sleep at 8.it's 1030.haha.

it'll be good to escape for a while.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008,9:05 PM

blahblahblah this is taking up so much time but anyway...dear random passerby,my sister's comments do not represent my point of view.pls feel free to post any comments you wish on my board because i believe in the freedom of speech.but other than your little discussion on anonymity on the internet which has been debated ad nauseum in gp lessons, you don't seem to have had any other good comebacks on our main point of contention so i'm assuming you've run out of steam and i've seen the last of you.good bye.

that was actually pretty fun while it lasted.and just when my deaddish blog needed a good kick in the ass to revive it :)

actually,anonymity on the internet is a pretty darn interesting thing.i wonder if random passerby knows who i am.won't it be funny if we meet in school and become real tight and find out 20 years from now that we were actually mortal enemies in cyberspace.hey seriously,random passerby,if you're still reading this,i don't hold any hard feelings against you.really.my best friends are the ones who let me quarrel with them every day because i love inane debates of any sort and i don't take them personally.so feel free to say what you want.

moving on...

hostory test today.as with all essay writing tests,i have no idea how well i'll fare until the teacher returns it so i'm not worrying.and it's not counted anyway.only block tests and promos count towards our grades :) the same of which cannot be said for math :( omg my math sucks like shit.i got 4/13 for my latest class assignment and it's an improvement!!! gosh.i got 3 last time.well.gotta keep moving up.at this rate,i'll score about 20 for eoys.im supposed to be doing my inequalities tutorial now but i cant put my mind to it.argh.i've gotta do it somehow.we finally saw the dark side of wang teng yao today.it seems he can no longer take our incessant-yapping-late-coming-intermittent-napping-fuck-math-i'm-an-arts-student attitude and decided to spend 2 minutes of the lesson discussing something other than asymptotes! okok i'm being mean.he's a nice,dedicated,focused teacher.he just takes studying too seriously.i don't blame him,coming all the way from mainland and all...aiyah...but this is singapore lah...laxing man...mmm.thinking about him makes me feel really bad :( ok i'll go do math tutorial now.must keep up my mugging attitude.

Monday, March 03, 2008,4:55 PM

ok this would be too irritating to type on a tagboard so i'll type it here.

hello ~~internet ip address 116.15.130.243~~ random passerby!!! no it doesn't piss me off that you say apollo sucks because you have the right to, and better still, it displays your total lack of maturity :D i wasn't bashing athena. i was judging them to the best of my ability based on artistic merit. i didn't say they suck because they're ugly and full of losers. i said i don't think their performance measured up when compared to that of the other faculties and it's got nothing to do with the fact that they wear green, i eat apples every day or you don't dare to give a face to your convictions. it was based purely on intellect and cool, rational thought. (and obviously, the judges that night agreed with me). yes, the apollo part was a little emotional but that was because i identified with what the characters were going through and was truly moved by the story. i would have typed the same emotional paragraph if the performance had been athena's but sorry folks, all the honour's apollo's this time.

by the way, you're obviously pretty biased yourself seeing as you missed out my entire paragaph on artemis' awesome performance. in case you're wondering, it's just there beyond your own nose (if you can look past it).