apparently,people like jiaying and fausty are anxiously awaiting(and in the mean time,eagerly discussing) the glorious sight of me wearing a dress during graces camp.im telling you,im not going to give in without a fight.i dont really know much about graces camp actually.but i checked out some past year blog posts and it doesnt sound that bad.i dont know about the dress part but it's mostly talks and stuff.i thought there'd be like some over enthusiastic aunty trying to apply 5 layers of makeup on you.talks i can live with.i'll just sleep through them.and there's outdoor games and stuff so i think it should be fine.but i tell you.someone try to put meinto something pink or frilly and there will be repercussions.i already have a nice little plan sitting at the back of my mind if the camp gets too crazy for me.i'll rebel my way out of there if i have to.but it really doesnt sound that bad.i can probably live with it.


just spent the night revising chem.had to rush a little cos i came back home late today.went to get my haircut after third lang so reached home around 6.my hair's still very poofy at the back :( i dont like that about my hair.it's too thick.but i did get my fringe cut.finally.it was getting into my eyes and threatening to give me conjuctivitis.
mole concept seems to have become a whole lot easier after i started using some ratio method my tuition teacher taught me.practised tons and now im sick of mole.planned the main idea of my srq as well.and did math worksheet corrections.and after blogging im going to read ahead for math.yay.im so productive.
been feeling a little depressed lately.not the full blown angsty kind.the kind that creeps up to you and sticks to you when you're all alone and not doing anything.been thinking about my grandmother again.i feel so useless that i couldnt protect her from her bloodsucking children and she had to suffer right up to the point of her death.i feel so unfilial,that i didnt visit her enough when i was alive,that i took it for granted she was going to live for another year or so,that she gave me so much and i didnt give her anything in return.
that i only realise how much i love her and miss her when she's gone.


my cousin is complaining about my tardy blogging again.however,i rejoice in the fact that that she is too many million miles away to cause me any bodily harm.or should i?
oh right.keep forgetting to mention.we bought another house in thompson.so it's not the one with the swimming pool anymore.it's some old,colonial era house which my mum plans to renovate.she just never learns.but whatever,it's not my job to worry about that.and the coolest thing is that we're just staying a few houses away from my chem tuition teacher :) i know it's not exactly something to be excited about,but my tuition teacher's fantastic.she makes me love chem for 2 1/2 hours until i step out of her class and fall back into reality.
ok right.cny's coming.thank god i bought all my new clothes in vietnam.but my mum's still tring to find reasons to drag me to a shopping centre.this cny's going to be the start of the saddest cnys i'll ever have.firstly,yingxy's far away in canada where they do nada about such unheard of chinese festivals.and of course,my grandmother passed away recently and we fell out with my mum's siblings.we're practically gonna be doing nothing at all.it's really sad,especially when i think about how great the past 15 years had been and how it's gonna be for the rest of my life.
ok whatever.getting ranty.


im being forced to update my blog when i dont really have anything to blog about.this post is going to be boring.
i felt sick last night.had a stuffy nose and itchy throat and of course my eyes had to act up as usual.kinda felt like an asthma attack but ive had enough to know it wasnt.so i decided to sleep it off.so i woke up this morining feeling slightly more healthy but still quite woozy.had a terrible case of bed head.my hair has grown quite a bit since my last haircut during the hols and it's very thick now and my fringe's almost touching my eyelashes.i looked like my hair had grown lumps.my neurotic dog was yelping at some kids swimming downstairs and hasnt stopped since.ths kids werent making it any better by making meowing sounds at my dog.wanted to throw a brick at them but stopped myself.ate green bean soup and soyabean milk for breakfast while reading the papers.then i went to my parent's room to watch tv.flipped channels before deciding on discovery channel.watched a documentary about some prehistoric elephant (NOT the mammoth).cant remember the name of featured animal.starts with an m.the difference between said animal and mammoth is that said animal had straighter tusks and,a longer body and shorter legs.just googled it.it's called a MASTODON.while i was watching the world's leading expert on mastodons present his theory on how the mastodons became extinct,my mother burst into the room and loudly demanded that i bring my neurotic dog down for a walk before he shit himself in his state of hysteria,and if he did,she'd whip me and id have to bring him down anyway.angrily switched the tv off and went to change and fetch the leash.upon seeing the leash,neurotic dog goes so berserk that he manages to trip me while im standing still.finally got out of the house after searching all over for my slippers and finding them in the cupboard where i started.walked to sommerville estate and back.luckily we didnt meet any other dog along the way or my arm would have been permenantly damaged.dog did his business and we came back.passed dog to maid to be cleaned up.finished reading the new paper in my room before deciding to switch on the computer and check out my stagnant blog.saw demand from cousins which results in me typing this post about my day so far.and since i cant narrate anymore about my day that hasnt happened yet,i shall stop and go read random articles on wikipedia.


MY MUM BOUGHT LONGANS AND I'M GOING TO FINISH THEM ALL BY MYSELF.NEENER NEENER NEENER.


the stupidity and irrationality of my mother's family never ceases to shock me.even my mother's given up on those assholes.6 years ago my mother's eldest brother drove my grandmother out of his house and now that my grandmother is dead,they invited him to her funeral and spent the whole 5 days talking to him and his goddamn wife and children and acted as if nothing happened.they've fucking lost their minds i tell you.4 of my mother's 5 other siblings told her that's she being petty and she has to forgive and forget.are you all fucking insane?!what fucking bullshit are you talking about.that ungrateful beast drove it's own mother out of it's house,it never apologised,never contacted her for the past six years and you're asking us to forgive it?!id sooner join a satanic cult.how can anyone be so inhumane?!i cant believe im related to such assholes.go fucking suck his dick if you love him so much.you're all just after that selfish bastard's money.he abandoned his own mother,their mother and they dont even care.and i thought i was emotionally handicapped.they're fucking monsters they are.they dont care about what he did at all.
fucking retards.i swear im gonna shit on all your goddamn graves.and if i ever see that bastard again im gonna fucking tear his balls out and feed it to the dogs.you're all going to hell.i'll make sure of it.


this week has been tiring man.had to go to my grandmother's funeral wake everyday after school and stay there till 11 or 12 and get up at 5 the next morning.thank god for weekends.yup so im pretty busted right now.i honestly have no idea how i managed to live through school this week.the only time i felt so tired i wanted to die was during yesterday's bsp lecture but i think it wasnt from lack of sleep but boredom.
ive never known songapore could be so cold.i stayed at the wake till 2 am last night and it was freezing.the funeral service had put up tarps to keep the rain out and we hung up the blankets we had been given but it was still so cold.and i was so tired so i pulled 3 plastic chairs together to sleep and i felt like some homeless guy in newyork trying to survive the winter.i thought someone was going to call the police and report some bum sleeping at the void deck.


im so tired......
but ive got so much work...ive gotta revise jap and chem and physics and math because i have no intention of failing any of these subjects this year and do chinese portfolio which the *#$@&%*#$ chinese department wants done by end of jan and do my math tuition work and oh shit i suddenly remembered i have a chinese compo to write for tuition and i should be working but if i dont take a break my brain will explode and coffee isnt working and and and........ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.
if i accidentally close my eyes for 2 extra milliseconds while im blinking i'll fall asleep


argh.ive really got the urge to write a fanfic now...but i cant.im not in the right mood.and the setting isnt right.i need to write it when im alone in the dead of the night and right now my cousin and aunt and uncle are over.so i cant.but argh...really feel like writing it.havent enjoyed my own writing for a long time.that's what i dont like about school.after a while everything you once enjoyed becomes work.gotta write stuff about your end of year programme and whatever crap.ah hell.i suppose there's still the occasional free writing.but if i hand in my fanfic id either get sent for counselling or get expelled.haha.im actually pretty interested to see what'll happen.maybe i'll try it.


ok no more angsty feeling :) i think ive got bipolar disorder or something.im feeling terribly happy today and that's not normal because it's saturday and ive got 2 tuitions lined up for me today.i should be cursing the world.but im not.oh whatever.i suppose this is what school does to you.
i spent my friday night doing homework.i know.i cant believe it either.i finished up the matrices and binomial worksheet,revised static electricity,started planning the duty roster and my chinese and math portfolio.straight a's dont fall from the sky.


ergh.school sucks.only 2 days in and i want out.somehow it doesnt seem to be working out this year.everything's just going wrong.i can feel this latent anger brewing within me but i cant quite find the source.i feel like screaming

FUCK YOU WORLD!!!but i shant.not yet.

even typing this post is pissing me off.


dammit.school tomorrow.havent done any of the holiday homework.
turns out i wont be homeless in 7 months time.my parents bought a house at thompson road.it's brand new.in fact it isnt even completely built yet.it'll be ready around march or so but it wont be livable till about may or june.i think thompson's a bit far but we're sacrificing location for size.and they're building an mrt station nearby so it'll be pretty convenient.it's pretty big i think.there's an extra bedroom on top of the guest room.im getting the master bedroom :) my parents are taking the jr master room which they wouldnt let me have cos it's on the third floor and knowing my antisocial tendencies,i'll disappear in there and wont come out to talk to them.they're really big on the bonding thing.but anyway the master is crap compared to the jr master.the jr master is huge.there could be space for a bar even and there's a really large balcony.damn.i really wanted that room.i could erect large oak,ceiling high bookcases and have my own reading corner.but i suppose the master's not too bad.my sis got a smaller room with a balcony.whatever.ive got the master :D she's real jealous.i can tell.oh but the coolest thing about the house is that it's got a pool.isnt it cool?!it's not very big actually.it's just a lap pool but i can already imagine lying on a float,sipping lemonade,reading the latest issue of time magazine.sweet.im gonna throw my dog in and swim with him.man i wish i could move in now.
so we'll be moving around june next year which means i cant fly to canada to visit my cousins.probably have to wait till december :(
oh yeah,and my dad's selling his toyota picnic to get a toyota camry.wth.i wanted him to get the rav4 cos it's so much cooler but thanks to my sis he got the camry instead.i love the picnic :( stupid camry.

PRONGS
26/03/1991
NYPS NYGH HCI
1F 2J 3J 4J 5J 6J
1/3 2/3 3/8 4/8
08A14
APOLLO






Vera. April. Irene. Machi. Calean. Eileen. Jeanne. Jiamin. Lee Qi. Fausty. Jolene. Karene. Melesa. Chen Xi. Jia Jun. Li Fern. Marissa. Ming Yi. Pamelia. Vinette. Yi Xiao. Zi Yang. Charlton. Miao Ran. Xin Rong. Zhen Rui. Bao Cheng. Chun Hing.
Tian Ning. Jacqueline. Pictures Blog.

Credits

[ k a w a i i ]
dafont

When I hear my favorite song
I know where we belong
Oh you are the music in me
It's living in all of us
And it's brought us here because
You are the music in me